8 years of photos

I took a little trip down iphoto memory lane today. I was just trying to organize my computer a little, and as I was doing that I was going over some old pictures that I hadn’t seen in years. My earliest saved pictures are from 2001, when I first got a digital camera and started saving the pictures. It’s cool to look at them, but I really wish I had taken more shots.
I’m looking at these pictures, some of them of people that aren’t alive anymore, including Charles Lewis of Tapout that died recently in a tragic car accident. We’re going to a memorial service for him tomorrow, and I was going through my pictures I was disappointed to find that I only had a couple pictures of me and Charles. I always enjoyed his company, and I hung out with him at numerous UFC’s, and I was even on an episode of their Tapout TV show, but for whatever reason I didn’t take that many pictures of him. He was a really positive, hard working guy that did a lot for the sport of MMA. I would have really liked it if I had a few more pictures of us that I could look at and think about what a fun guy he was.


I only have one photo of Freddy Soto. He was a really talented comic that passed away a few years ago. Great, great guy, and he was really gifted onstage. His name comes up all the time with us, but unfortunately I’ve only got this one picture of him in my collection, and none of him and I together.


The idea that some of these pictures are from almost 8 years ago is really mind-blowing.
I always thought that 8 years was a lot of time, but it’s really not. It’s not at all.
It might be a lot of time to be in jail for, but to just live your life it’s not that much at all. It just seems like it is because we built our models of how long time is when we were young, and when you’re young the years you’ve been alive are your only form of reference.
When you’re 8 years old, 16 years old seems a million miles away, but when you’re 42 age 50 is right fucking there.


It is flying by right in front of my eyes.

This is a picture of the first day of the Iraq war.


Doug Stanhope, my friend Jan Irvin and I got blasted on mushrooms and sat around and tried to make sense of it.
No such luck. It seemed completely surreal. The mushrooms were just starting to kick in when we were watching TV, and the news was advertising that “War coverage” was going to start at 5. “Holy shit,” Doug said, “They have a fucking kick off.”

I’ve gone through some very profound changes in the way I approach things and manage my mind in those 8 years, and in looking through my pictures I sometimes see myself back then and I think, am I going to be looking at pictures of myself thinking the same kind of thoughts 8 years from now?
I think about my mindset from these images frozen in time 8 years ago, and I think that if I had the chance to go back in time and give myself advice, what would I say?

I know if I lived the same exact life experiences again today I would have very different reactions to a lot of things, but if I only had a brief moment to give advice, what would I say?

I think I would say, “It’s not what you think it is. None of it is. Take a closer look.”

You gotta look at this thing carefully.
All of it; our body, your species, our culture, the planet you live on – all of it.
I think I would tell myself that if I want to look at this life in the clearest way possible it’s going to take a lot of work. To get it to a manageable point you have to think of these things not as a luxury, but as a necessity like brushing your teeth. It’s biological maintenance, and if you slack off on it, it’s going to fuck you.
The ultimate goal is to balance the body and the mind, so that neither one is holding the other back, and that neither one is carrying around excess stress that will cause the other to react in a negative way.

The leftover chimpanzee genes must be beaten into submission, and the mind must be organized and without unaddressed issues. This has to be worked on daily, or it will slowly start to get away from you again.
New and powerful thoughts must be constantly introduced into the system like mental antioxidants fighting off the free radicals of thought – like random douche bags and right wing radio.
Great thoughts are not just expressions, they’re a form of transferable energy. They can charge you up with inspiration and get you through trying times like a mental shield. Don’t just let them come to you, seek them out. Seek them out and think of them as soldiers and weapons in your fight against all that is retarded, including yourself.

And I think lastly, I would tell myself to take more pictures of people you care about, because it really sucks when they’re gone.