Daniel Negreanu, you whiney little bitch.

So, I’ve been getting a ton of emails recently about this poker player named Daniel Negreanu talking shit about me on his blog. Now what this was all about, was we were both on the Opie and Anthony radio show when it was broadcasting from a poker tournament that Anthony was playing in.

I barely remember the conversation, because it was over 2 years ago, but what I do remember, was that the guy was very friendly on the show, but then afterwards he talked some shit about it online saying it was unorganized and a low rent version of the Howard Stern show.

So I check out his blog to see what the guy said about me, and I was really puzzled.

Here’s an audio file of the conversation:

Here’s the link to his blog entry:

And just in case he decides to take it down or change it, and here’s the actual words from the blog:

“I’m home now, just chillin’, watching lots of television and being pretty unproductive overall. I’m totally fine with that, considering the January road trip that saw me go from the Bahamas to Australia, home for a day, then Mississippi, Atlantic City, and finally back home to Vegas. With two cashes adding up to just a little over half a million, I’d say that the trip was well worth it.

So since I’ve had a little more free time I’ve been looking through some e-mails, forum posts, etc. and found a thread mentioning me and the Opie and Anthony radio show.

To get you all caught up, I was asked to go on this show while at the WPT Celebrity event at the Commerce casino two years ago and had no idea what the show was about. I’d never heard of any of them.

I sat down with them and then recognized one face, Jim Norton, who I’d previously seen on a show called Last Comic Standing. My wife and I thought he was one of the best comedians on that show, but he got kicked off because he was already a professional, or something to that effect.

The others I’d never heard of, but Joe Rogan, was the host of a show that I’d heard of called Fear Factor. Anyway, so I’m pulled in to be on the show and it just comes off like a completely disorganized mess. It just seemed like utter chaos with no coordination whatsoever. I’d done several radio shows before and had never quite seen anything like this set up.

They weren’t prepared at all, didn’t know who they were speaking to, knew nothing at all about poker, and had no idea what to ask me. I tried my best to make the best of on awkward situation. The one guy who actually knew something about poker was busy playing in the tournament.

So then this Joe Rogan guy starts going a little batty. Not funny in the least, and I honestly believe I can be objective here because I don’t mind poking fun at myself at all. He basically just repeatedly cursed and acted like a juvenile. His material was weak and he masked that by just cursing more. I watch a lot of stand up and you can tell when a guy has no material when he overuses fart jokes and thinks that if he just curses louder and louder that it’s somehow funny and that no one will notice that he doesn’t actually have any jokes.

Anyway, fast forwarding a bit, he was saying nasty things about what became my wife, etc. The guy didn’t know me at all, we weren’t friends, so it was all just crossing a line. You just don’t meet someone for the first time, invite them to your show, and then say the things he said.

I didn’t have a real problem with anyone else on the show. Jim Norton and I hardly spoke except for one joke he was trying to tell that I caught on to quickly. He was basically speaking gibberish with a straight face and was expecting me to try and answer it intelligently. Of course, his question made no sense so I was like, “What are you babbling about?” He acknowledged that he was trying to “get me” but it didn’t work out.

When I did the show I was a little shocked at what was coming out of Joe Rogan’s mouth. He blabbed away like Matusow and overshadowed Norton and the others with nonsense.

So I later wrote in my forum that the show felt like a low rent version of Howard Stern. Oh man, did that set them off! That caused some fireworks on the forums as some loyal fans of their show starting posting on the FCP forums for a while.

It all died down and went away until a recent broadcast where they were talking about poker and my name came up. I was then surprised to hear Jim Norton go off on me. I actually wasn’t really offended, although several members of the forum seemed bothered by it. The dude is a comedian and his job is to try and be funny. In fact, if he truly believed the things he was saying I’d be surprised.

For example, he actually was crackin’ on my hairdo which I found pretty ironic, since it currently looks EXACTLY like his! It’s just a little strange. I was actually a fan of his work prior to him chewing me out, so should the fact that he was cracking on me change that? No, I don’t think so, unless it became hateful I have no problem with being made the butt of a joke.

Anyway, I have no beef with the show. It doesn’t seem like my kind of humor at all, but to each his own. Having said that, I think this Joe Rogan guy has zero comedic talent whatsoever. If he can make it in showbiz, that is undeniable proof that ANYBODY has a chance.”

Now here’s where it got so confusing to me.

If you listened to that audio file you know what he described was nothing like the conversation we had.

When I left that conversation, what I got out of it was here was that I had met this interesting character that makes a living in a very daring way, and I respect that very much.

He decided to live his life playing cards professionally, and he’s been doing it since he was 18 years old.

I told him I thought about how cool that was, and then I asked him if there were professional poker groupies. Then he told us that he was recently split up with his ex, and I asked if he was scared of her getting with other guys. I said that’s what I’m always afraid of, is breaking up with a girl and her getting gorilla fucked by some new dude.

Daniel laughed HARD.

Then he said he wasn’t concerned, and I said that’s what I always think of, and then I went in depth about how I always picture some dude fucking the shit out of her. He suggested that I read a book that addresses that, and I said it’s just natural chimpanzee instincts. He still said he doesn’t think about it, and then I described a graphic scenario and asked him if it would bother him, and he still said no, and then I said “It bothers me, and I don’t even know you.” Opie then added in, “and one more thing, the guy was black.”

We then thanked him for coming on the show, and I congratulated him for having the balls to pursue such a cool job. He said thanks, and that he really appreciated it and then he shook my hand. Never once seemed upset with me.

Now, I have no idea WHAT THE FUCK went on in his head between the time he left the show, and how he ran the conversation back in his mind, but I think he should listen to the audio of the conversation, and then go straight to a therapist.

If he’s distorting events of the past like this on a regular basis, I’ve got to think that there’s something seriously wrong with the wiring in his brain.

Daniel, I know you’re reading this, so I want you to know, I’m not mad at you.

Not even a little. I think we’ve all had moments in our life where our ego twisted reality into a distorted perception of the truth. I’m sure that you were hyper sensitive to what I said because you had just recently broken up with your ex, and although you were trying to say that the scenarios I was describing weren’t bothering you, they were, A LOT.

And that’s totally understandable. I think you obviously twisted the events in your mind into some attack on you, and it absolutely wasn’t. I think if you listen to the audio, you’ll see that I was being very complimentary of you, and that I really respected what you do for a living. I still do. I didn’t want to piss you off when I said those things, I was just being honest with the way I think. It wasn’t my intention to upset you, and I really didn’t want it to happen. I talk openly and honestly to my friends, and if I’m having a cool conversation with someone like we were having with you, I talk to them the way that I talk to my friends. Now, I often forget that some people consider the way I think to be crude or outrageous, but it’s really just the way I think. I’m just really honest about it.

Your perception of what happened is completely off. I wasn’t cracking jokes, I was just talking to you like a friend.

I could use this blog entry to insult you, but really, what’s the point? I’ve got plenty of negative bullshit in my life, and I’m sure you do too.

And really, all I wanted to do was clear the air.

I’m going to post this, and then I’m going to erase all this negative shit from my mind, and I’m going to look at you the way I looked at you when we were having that conversation: as a person that’s doing a cool fucking thing, playing cards for a living. I’m gonna look at you as a person who had the balls to try to make a living in a very risky and unconventional way. I still respect that very much.

I’m totally serious about holding no grudge, and if we run into each other, I would be happy to shake your hand and bury the whole thing.

Or, I might hold you down and slap you in the face with my cock, depending of course on how my ego twists my memory of my reaction to your blog entry saying I suck.





UPDATE: Daniel read my post, listened to the audio clip, and wrote an apology. See, I knew he was cool!