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“Grizzly Man” and death by horse cock.

I went to see one of the most unintentionally funny movies I’ve ever seen, a movie called

”Grizzly Man” about a dude named Timothy Treadwell that lived with wild grizzly bears in Alaska for 13 summers before they decided to eat him. The movie was made from all of this guy’s personal footage that he shot when he was chilling in the woods with the bears.

This dude was just hanging out with these giant monsters while they hunted for fish, fought over bear pussy, and even like the old saying goes, shit in the woods.

He was completely obsessed with these bears. He would talk to them, and tell them how much he loved them, while they mostly ignored him and searched for food.

One of the weirdest scenes in the movie was where he was watching this bear take a shit, and he runs up to the shit right after the bear wanders off, and he is just fucking fascinated by the pile. He starts rubbing it.

He just keeping repeating, “this came out of her butt!” Like it was a pile of diamonds or something. Yeah it came out of her butt, dude. It’s bear shit. That’s where it comes from.

I often wonder when I see people like this, (not that I see people playing with bear shit everyday, but you know what I mean) I think… who the fuck is hanging around with this guy? What are his friends like? What kind of lives do they have that they’re willing to spend their precious free time hanging out with this dude?

Because you know what? You might think that someone is fucking retarded and annoying, but I’m betting that retarded and annoying person has at least a few people in his life that are retarded and annoying enough to want to hang out with him.

See, that’s the thing about people, they always find someone to hang out with. We NEED it, or we go crazy. I mean, people need people so much, that one of the worst punishments that they can give you in prison, is to leave you alone in solitary confinement.

Can you imagine that? You’re trapped in a fucking cage with murderers and thieves, and the worst punishment they can give you, is to take you away from the murderers and thieves and leave you by yourself.

Think about that shit for a little bit.

Well, this guy had some friends, and they were just perfect. Right out of a fucking Cohen brothers script. You couldn’t write something better than these people. They just fit in like magic. His ex-“girlfriend” was one of my favorites. I use the word “girlfriend” in quotes because one of the things about the “grizzly man,” was that he was as gay as a room full of dicks.

He has this one hysterical rant in the movie where he’s walking along, asking the camera why he doesn’t do so well with the ladies.

Oh, I don’t know… maybe the fact that you live in the fucking wilderness with giant scary monsters? Chicks usually aren’t into that. That, and maybe the whole gay thing.

Generally, I think those are two things chicks like to avoid.

I mean think about it, ladies, if one of your friends called you up and said, “Hey, I want to set you up with this guy, he’s gay, and he lives in the woods with scary monsters.”

You would have to start questioning whether or not that person is really your friend, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, this dude just goes on and on about how he wishes he was gay, because then it would be so much easier to hook up, and how gay dudes have it made.

The guy was obviously pretty unhappy, and the end of his life was really suicide by bear. He stayed in Alaska past the summer when most of the bears that he was familiar with were hibernating, and the only bears wandering around were the older, hungrier bears that he had repeatedly stated were the most dangerous. He even told his ex that he thought maybe it would be better if he died, because then his work would get the attention it deserved.

I guess in that sense, mission accomplished.

It’s a very entertaining movie, and I highly recommend it. Sacrifice the sacred plant to the fire gods and see that shit.

Speaking of dudes fucking with animals, and something getting the attention it deserved after a death, did you hear about that bestiality ring up in Seattle that got busted when a guy got fucked to death by a horse?

I

Shit

You

Not.

You can read about it here.

The guy gets fucking skewered on this gigantic 3-foot long horse cock, and then bleeds to death before they can get him to the hospital. Well, I guess the police do some investigating, probably trying to figure out why there was fur and hay attached to all the blood on this dude’s ass, and they eventually trace everything back to this farm where they find hundreds of videos of guy’s getting fucked by horses, including the dead guy.

Apparently he had gotten fucked by horses many times and never had a problem. It was just this one last pushy horse that did him in. See, I guess the key to safely getting fucked in the ass by a horse, is that you can’t let the horse stick it all the way in.

You can see in the video where this guy’s friend is guiding the horse’s cock into his ass, and tries to hold the middle of it with his fist to stop it from going in too deep, sort of like how chicks do when they’re giving head to keep from gagging.

Shockingly, this giant horse cock goes into this dude’s butt hole with no resistance whatsoever.

Obviously, this wasn’t his first rodeo. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself there)

The horse allows the guy to hold his full thrust back for exactly 3 seconds, and then just takes over and lunges into this guys ass, balls deep.

It is EASILY the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in my fucking life.

You see this fucking enormous horse cock, and then you see the size of this dude’s body, then you see the enormous horse cock disappear in this dude’s ass, and then you do the math.

There’s just no fucking way everything is going to be OK.

The guy makes a groan that can only be described as a combination of the sounds that you would make if you were taking a massive shit, while at the same time getting kicked in the balls, and punched in the throat.

The best part about it is that his friend asks him several times “Too much?”

Ummm… what the fuck do you think?

Download it and enjoy, here:

Death by horse cock

Suicide by bear, and death by horse cock.

That is my message.