My first standup video is complete!

Here’s a real video sample clip from my upcoming VHS/DVD: my take on the sacred cow, Hugh Hefner.

Enjoy, and I’ll see you at the mansion.

Where you at, bitch?

I’ve been shooting fear factor for the last month or so, hence the lack of updates. I do however very much appreciate all the emails calling me to get off my lazy ass and post something. When I’m shooting the show, something has to suffer, and between stand up, working out, this site and sex, the website is what took the hit. Things are settling down at Fear Factor now as we slowly get into our groove, so the updates should be far more often now. The new shows will start airing regularly probably sometime in January, and the celebrity edition will air November 27th at 8pm.

If you thought last years episodes were insane, this year is gonna knock your fuckin socks off. It’s completely retarded, and totally on another level with new stunts and even crazier contestants.

I’m now convinced that the only way NBC would be letting us do these stunts is if they have a back up plan in case someone dies. I believe they have a mercenary squad of hired killers secretly watching the filming at all times, and as soon as someone bites it, they’re going to swoop in and gun down the entire cast and crew, then blame the whole thing on terrorists.

Then the show will take a brief hiatus as they recast, and it will be back on in 3 months with Adam Corolla as the new host. It’ll be the patriotic show to watch, with adds saying "Don’t let those evil terrorists take from you your right to watch fucked up shit! Support Fear Factor!"

Note to the humor impaired: I’m juuuuuuuust joking. No one has gotten hurt so far, and all sorts of safety precautions are in place to make sure no one does. I know to some it may seem shocking and in poor taste to make jokes about death and terrorism in times of war… but that’s what I’m here for. Despite all recent indications to the contrary, this is still the United States of America, and we still supposedly have freedom of speech here. -end of disclaimer.

My first stand up comedy video is complete.

The video I shot in Austin, TX way back in May with Sacred Cow Productions is FINALLY complete. The sacred cow website will begin taking pre-orders any day, and then we’re going to get a national distributor. The reason it took so long was that it was totally edited and shot in house. Kevin Booth and I own it all. No company to censor it because some of it is in poor taste (and you bet your fucking sweet ass some of it is) and no one else had any say in how it was edited or shot.


If you’ve never seen me live at a club, it’s as accurate a representative as you’re ever going to get, and on a much better medium than my album was. Comedy without visual is like Rage Against the Machine without the bass and drums. This way you get alllllll the juicy bits.

You can watch a trailer for the video HERE. (You’ll need real video to view it, you can get the free player HERE)

Hollywood moment…

I had the weirdest Hollywood moment I’ve ever had the other day at my favorite burrito place. I was there with my pals Eddie Bravo and Joey Diaz enjoying some Mexican food, when this guy came up to me:




He stuck out his hand, and I realized it was Jeff Probst from survivor. It was so weird!! Two hosts from rival networks shows running into each other in a burrito joint. He was a really cool, friendly guy. We chatted briefly, and then went about our separate ways. It was just so odd to me that I can’t even explain it, especially since I was a tad baked at the time. We were laughing at it all, when Eddie gets up and goes and says hi to this other guy. Eddie is laughing and talking to the guy, and then he brings him over to me and Joey to say hi.

It turns out the guy he was talking to was Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine! The dude was just sitting around shooting the shit with us, like just some regular guy. Here he is, one of the baddest fucking guitarists that has ever walked the face of the planet, and literally the man had absolutely no pretension whatsoever. He could have easily just been some cool bartender or something.

Just a day in the life of a Hollywood burrito joint.

Peace and chicken grease…