North Carolina is Cool…

Being the prejudiced yankee asshole that I am, I’m always surprised when I go down south and have a really good time. Great shows, fun people, and man is that accent sexy! Especially on the cops!

No real drama to report, although I almost got arrested at the waffle house. We walked in and sat down one night at around 3am and these kids were being a little loud and drunk, nothing particularly obnoxious, when this bitchy fuckin waitress yells over at them:

“If y’all don’t be quiet over there I’m gonna call the police!”

So of course me and my big mouth have to jump into the mix:

“Whoa, what the hell is that about? Call the police for someone talking? I thought this was America, land of the free and home of the brave!” “This ain’t America, this is the waffle house, motherfucker!"

Everyone has a great big laugh out of that of course, so she decides to actually call the cops. 5 minutes later officer friendly and his partner arrive, and get this they’re high! No doubt in my mind! These dudes must have busted some local NC State kid with a bag of chronic and decided to sample a little before the end of their shift.

One of them has totally bloodshot eyes and a little smile, and the other one has his mouth slightly agape and a fascinated look in his eyes. He tells us in his best "officer friendly keeper of the peace" tone that he knows this is all silly and to please keep it down.

Me again, being the asshole that I am, says:

“No problem officer, we understand you’re just doing your job. And doing it well, I might add. Right everybody? How about a nice round of applause for the police, everybody? C’mon, folks! Give it up for the cops!”

Well the drunken packed in 3am waffle house crowd of about 150 kids erupts into applause, and officer friendly starts to get a little paranoid. His partner starts to giggle. Officer friendly then begins to tell me that I’m annoying him and ruining his buzz, and that he tried to be a man about this all, blah, blah, blah, I apologize and tell him I have much respect, and he and his partner go back to their squad car and their bong hits. I forgot to bring my camera out that night, so I didn’t get any pictures, although I’m pretty sure the cops wouldn’t have let me film them in the condition they were in.

Oh, yeah speaking of pictures, here’s a couple more drunken sluts that wanted to take pictures with Joey’s balls. Nothing special though, no penetration, no cocksucking, zzzzz really a pathetic effort if you ask me.


That chick from Brea has really raised the bar as far as doing outrageous things to get on this site, and any of you gals looking to take the crown from her have some SERIOUS work ahead of you.

That said, I have started to receive unsolicited titty pictures, and I could not be happier about this. Three of them so far, but this is the only set worthy of being published.

And worthy they certainly are!


God bless America!

Keep those tits comin’!

Oh, and as far as my take on breasts, and believe it or not I’ve gotten more than one email asking me about my take on fake breasts, this is how I see it: If I can touch them, they’re real. What is it a fucking mirage? Those are tits, not illusions. Have some respect, will ya?

Email first off, anyone that’s sent me an email in the last 4 days, please send it again, because I fucked up and accidentally deleted all my inbox mail. I was trying to figure out how to get my e mail on my palm pilot and I fucking spazzed and torched them all. Doh! My main email for the site is still being set up by the new host, but for the time being you can send me shit here:

Oh, yeah Joey Diaz wants to welcome you all to the first week of the new home for!

Click here, and Let’s get this party started!!