Opinions are like assholes… You know the drill. I don’t have a problem with someone expressing their opinion, even if it’s about me. You’re allowed to think whatever the fuck you want to think as far as I’m concerned. I just have to wonder where some people are coming from with their opinions, and if they’re even aware of it themselves.
I read this article that this little damaged piece of goods, Robin Vaughan of the Boston Herald wrote about me, and initially I was pissed.
She misquoted me, took things that I said and cut and pasted them out of context, and even out and out LIED by putting words in my mouth that I have never said.
I mean, Here’s some chick that I talked to on the phone and had a totally civil conversation with, where I explained myself and tried to communicate my thoughts and feelings to her, human being to human being and this is how she treats me.
But you see, the problem is Robin isn’t human.
She’s a woman.
That’s how she looks at it.
She’s on TEAM VAGINA!
In her world if you talk about stupid women, that means you hate ALL women!
Despite my explanations to her that I believe regardless of race, sex, or gender, there are only three types of people in the world, morons, assholes and people you can hang out with, and that I truly love everybody… all simple Robin could hear was an assault on TEAM VAGINA!!
I told her that making fun of stupid women doesn’t mean you hate women, just like making fun of stupid men doesn’t mean you hate men, but Robin couldn’t see it.
Nope, TEAM VAGINA programmed her well!!
"But Robin, I make fun of stupid men too!"
"I see no evidence of that!"
"No? What about the opening sketch, "Getting Pumped", what about men never being able to bond with each other, what about men being terrified of other men’s erections?"
"You hate women!"
"What about the bit how guys that won’t go down on their girlfriends are selfish losers with bad genes, and how men have a distorted perception of reality and don’t realize how truly pathetic they are until they see Tiger’s fucking?"
"Your attempts at rational communication are pointless!! TEAM VAGINA has equipped me with a special panty shield that filters out all logic and replaces it with bitter memories of me being stood up at the prom! For every valid point you make I am reminded of a drunken college boy trying to force my head down onto his semi-erect penis! You will be defeated!!"
Initially I felt betrayed. I felt misrepresented and helpless, but then I started to think about Robin the person… and I started to get turned on!
I started thinking about how Robin is really just an unhappy human, how her days are probably filled with resentment and internal dialogue. About how all Robin really needs is love.
About how I would give her that love.
I would wine her and dine her and open up my soul to her. I would tell her about my beliefs, my commitment to the notion of the universal soul, we would share truths and expressions, and then at the end of the evening I would fuck her like she owed me money!
I would purge her of her hate for testosterone, with every thrust of my muscular ass pumping my hot man meat deeper into her and releasing her from misdirected anger!
I would save her!
Then I thought about it and I said, hmm… you know what, she’s probably a fatty.
Fuck it, I’ll just ignore her.
So I jerked off, and I’m going to bed. No biggie.
Good night everybody! I’ll be back to update tomorrow with amazing stories from New York! The Howard Stern show, The Black Israelites and more!!
See you then!